I want to clarify that I am not advocating that women allow themselves to be labeled in terms they find offensive. Nor do I seek validation in the form of another person’s sexual attraction to me.
A human being is a complex thing, but we don’t always need to relate to all aspects of an individual. A casual sexual relationship does not necessitate a relationship with the total me. To quote Camille Paglia, “Perhaps eroticism has a right to live without intimacy and may in fact be most free in that state.” I am a multifaceted individual, but when I teach, I don’t expect my students to relate to my sexuality. By the same token, when I fuck I don’t always expect emotional or spiritual intimacy, or even an acknowledgement that there’s anything more to me than sexuality. In fact, I am not concerned with my partner’s thoughts at all during that time because I would rather focus on our desire and pleasure than on whether there is respect involved in what we’re doing.
My sexuality is not an inferior trait that needs to be chaperoned by emotionalism or morality; nor does it need to be intellectualized. Sure, love and sex are great together, but sex for the sake of sex is good too. Sex is not a reward I hold out for those who understand me or who agree with my ideology.